Tuesday, June 17, 2008

why eBAY suck

...'cos they recently switched to Paypal only? nah, that was bad enough (didn't bother me though).

It's 'cos the latest ad just... stinks. Never leave the viewer wondering, it's an old rule.

The 1st ad was obvious, and boring, going down a luge in a shopping cart. Meh.

The latest has a bunch of bargain hunters in the wild, tackling live prey like wardrobes, bedside desks, and my favorite, lamps (a nod to Pixar?).

The woman that nabs the lampstand... was disguised??? in a lampshade????

What, in the figurative world of eBay, is that supposed to represent? Everyone knows that eBay takes fraud and spoof very seriously, so why are they letting a buyer that dupes the 'prey' into a successful sale slip into the picture?

You dolts. That sucks.

Friday, June 6, 2008

why KFC sucks

Cos it makes me ill - seriously. But that's beside the point.

THIS is just a bad ad. A waiter takes an order in an italian restaurant, then tells the table to follow him, somewhere...

BUT THEY DON'T. And why is this error on air? It won't work, the storyline doesn't flow.

He ends up serving it to them back at the table.

AND it's a cheap ad too - there's like 2.3 seconds footage of him (not speaking to camera) in the KFC store - this was clearly a waste of set-up money.

That means it's stupid, and it sucks.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

why The Gruen Transfer rules

(literally - look it up)

Last night, this blog's fave show went to air - my old radio buddy Wil Anderson has hooked up with my mentor Andrew Denton, and set up a weekly panel show

don't miss it - on abc tv, of course ;)

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

why iSELECT thuck

i should have typed iThelect but that's jutht taking the pith.

First of all, why pick a poster girl like 'Molly' if she has a lithp? Trying to be cute?

Secondly, she keeps ringing up about her health insurance every week - how often do we REALLY NEED to do this, in order to make sure we're getting the best deal on health insurance?

And lastly, the kicker: you've clearly run out of catchphrases, so don't bother making up new ones, like

'kyucking kookaburras', 'puffing muffins', and other stupid sayings that really make Aussies look a bit dim/uncreative.

You all thuck.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

why NESTLE suck (not only for this one...)

Ok, this is the first entry where I enjoyed the ad, but still can't agree with the ideology.

KIT KAT: so tempting, that a kids will swap with kids to get to THEIR home and eat some.

Story? 2 kids, one with a whitebread family, and another hiding in a store, both in the same wrestling outfits cum power rangers.

The hider calls out to the other, and they duck outside to the playground... one of them answers the call from Mum to head for the car.

He gets home, gets some Kit Kat into him, then takes off his mask... revealing his beaming Asian face.

All four family members are in shock/surprise/dunno cos at this point i felt weird...

...what does this inadvertently say/project about asian kids? what do THEY see in the ad?
...what would their parents?

i dunnno... but for my confusion on that issue... this sucks.

Monday, April 7, 2008

why MyNite sucks, a bit

Who can forget the Gen-Y anti-hero Corey D.W, made headlines inviting far too many people over to his stepdad's place to essentially trash the place, via MySpace?

Well, i have to give credit to the PCYC for building a site designed to help safeguard your next party against any criminal charges, by alerting them first of your intentions.

BUT, the Ad still SUCKS: i'll try and put the poster up here, but basically..

there's a girl. she's young. she has a belly. she's not unhappy.

I CAN'T WORK OUT IF SHE'S PREGNANT, or if that's a BEER BELLY.

So, MyNite.com.au sucks for having confusing iconography, BUT wait for their email response to me, cos you KNOW i asked them straight away for a comment on my confusion....

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Why KELLOGG suck (you in)

NutriGrain - one of of the few remaining Aussie breakfast icons.

But what's this? You have to log on to enter their latest sports goodies giveaway? Okay.

But what's this? You have to wait for a huge flash file to download? Okay....

BUT WAIT! YOU HAVE NO CHOICE - you guys suck, you made me download about 20mg
worth of crap before I had the chance to enter in my unique code (aw, not a winner). And I want my 30 minutes back (rotten server you got there).

Kellogg, get your act together, and give consumers a CHANCE to save their bandwidth on what is obviously a website that you paid far too much for - whoever designed it must be laughing.

That's www.prizelocker.com.au BUT DON'T BOTHER unless you want to waste megabytes...